University of Kentucky




We felt it was important for couples to have simple, useful ideas they can implement immediately to help strengthen their relationship. To that end, we developed our "Healthy Hints" - 7 concepts that can make your relationship more empathic, loving, and healthy. Each hint is featured on a full-color index-sized card available at select locations throughout our service area.

Don’t Mind Read. Let your partner tell you what he or she is feeling; don’t just assume you know. Open your heart and mind. Listen both to what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling, then respond lovingly. Keep at it until your partner lets you know that you really understand.
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Fill Your Emotional Bank Account. Happy couples enjoy at least five good experiences for every negative experience in their relationships. Be humorous and stay positive. Say and do kind things for each other. These things will fill your emotional bank account. Learn what makes your partner feel loved and express love to him or her often in these ways.
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Celebrate! Create loving memories now and revisit them regularly to feel your love refreshed. Make it a habit to celebrate often the benefits, blessings, and memories of your marriage through little, loving rituals. There is magic on memory lane!
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Don’t Keep Score. Love is a team sport, not a competition between partners; either you both win or you both lose. Learn to forgive and let go of past hurt. Above all, don’t keep score! Doing so only creates competition and contempt between partners.
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First Comes Love. Our lives are filled with priorities. Don’t let your love get lost in the shuffle. Put your relationship first and set aside time together—a talk over breakfast, a regular date night, an evening walk. Successful couples never stop courting each other.
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The Art of Repair. Learn the art of repair attempts. Using humor, showing appreciation, expressing genuine concern, making your common ground clear, and backing down or changing the subject are all wonderful ways to overcome arguments and misunderstandings.
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Selfless Service. Whether small or large, loving service given to your partner will soften both of your hearts. Even the smallest acts of kindness—like serving your partner breakfast or leaving love notes—can have this powerful positive influence. Be selfless and find ways to serve each other often.
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Healthy Marriage Initiative
206 Scovell Hall
670 S. Limestone Street
Lexington, KY 40506
Tel. 859.257.5527
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University of Kentucky, College of Agriculture, An Equal Opportunity University
Copyright 2006, Supported by CALE Lab, Last Updates: Friday, September 15, 2006